What Is Prostate Milking?
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Having your prostate milked is a unique sensation. It’s almost like being tickled (in a good way) on the inside.
Having your prostate milked is a unique sensation. It’s almost like being tickled (in a good way) on the inside.
What is prostate milking?
Milking the prostate refers to the act of massaging the prostate until fluid comes out. The fluid, which is milky, hence the term, may come out while you’re stimulating the prostate. Prostate milking is another term for giving someone a prostate massage. The prostate produces prostatic fluid, which, when combined with the sperm resulting from coming, creates a white liquid resembling milk (semen), which is where the name “prostate milking” comes from.
The prostate is a small muscular gland that produces the seminal fluid in ejaculate and also helps propel semen when you climax. It’s present in people assigned male at birth and is surrounded by nerve endings, providing a one-of-a-kind climax, which I discuss in more detail in The Joys of the P-spot. The prostate is walnut-shaped, firm and very smooth to the touch, and located just below the bladder, about 6–8 cm inside your rectum and towards your belly button (away from your tailbone).
Officially, the fluid is called prostatic fluid, which is basically ejaculate without the sperm. Got milk? Then keep at whatever it is you’re doing because it’s a sign that you’re getting close. Stroking the penis at the same time can take it to another level of pleasure and get you there faster. The term prostate milking is also sometimes used to refer to a therapeutic prostate massage used to manage symptoms of prostate problems, which we’ll get to next.
Is a prostate massage the same thing as trying for a prostate orgasm?
Yes. If you massage the prostate in a way that feels good, you’re probably going to have an orgasm if you keep at it.
Some doctors recommend prostate massage therapy to help relieve the symptoms of certain conditions, such as painful ejaculation prostatitis.
Who can do it?
Anyone can milk the prostate; however, only those born with male anatomy have a prostate to milk. You can use your fingers or specially designed toys (there are plenty out there designed for prostate stimulation) or, of course, the real thing (or a strap-on); however, I prefer toys, strap-ons, or the real thing because plenty can go wrong with finger play. These include the multi-faceted joints of your fingers, the potential for long or jagged nails, and the potentially weird angles of insertion, which can lead to localized injury. That said, if you and/or your partner have recently gotten a manicure and are experienced with fingering, you can proceed.
What does it feel like?
Having your prostate milked is a unique sensation. It’s almost like being tickled (in a good way) on the inside. And if done correctly, you’ll experience one of the most intense climaxes ever, which can be felt from head to toe. You may see stars, your toes may curl, and your entire body will most likely shudder from all the pleasure. However, this pleasure can quickly turn into discomfort.
Is it dangerous?
The prostate is quite sensitive so you’ll want to be careful not to irritate it. That’s why it’s important to experiment with different angles, heights, and positions of both you and your partner (or toy) to see how best to milk your prostate. Because it’s located towards your stomach, you need to pay close attention to the curvature of your partner or your toy and adjust accordingly. Repetitive penetration can cause something called prostatitis. This is what happens when the prostate endures aggressive and significantly prolonged direct stimulation.
So if prostate milking is the goal, be gentle, switch things up, and maintain open and honest lines of communication between everyone involved. If the person having their prostate milked feels any kind of discomfort or pain, stop and take a break before trying again. Once you have perfected milking the prostate with fingers and/or toys, I recommend going to home base. When you use a thrusting motion, combined with careful finesse and rhythm, you can achieve heightened prostate orgasms with full on penetration (read: the real D or a strap-on).
Risks
Prostate milking is not usually dangerous. However, a very aggressive technique could, in theory, cause minor injury to the skin or rectum.
Also, prostate massage, especially when it is intense or forceful, could be painful.
Prostate massage also presents a small risk of prostate infection. If a person massages the prostate with dirty hands, this could introduce bacteria into the area.
Similarly, bacteria from the rectum can travel elsewhere if a person does not wash their hands thoroughly after a prostate massage.
Some people do not enjoy the sensation of prostate milking or any other anal stimulation. This does not mean that anything is wrong, it is simply a personal preference.
Benefits
The primary benefit of prostate milking is that it feels good. It may make sex more pleasurable and enhance closeness between partners.
There is also limited evidence that prostate massage may improve prostate health.
A 2009 preliminary trial of a home prostate massage device found that men with chronic prostatitis or benign prostatic hyperplasia experienced a reduction in symptoms following home prostate massage.
It may help improve erectile dysfunction (ED)
Though not as common as it once was, prostate stimulation is still sometimes used to treat ED. It can be used on its own or alongside other ED treatments, including medication and pumps.
It may help improve urine flow
Prostate swelling can put pressure on the urethra and interfere with urine flow. A prostate massage can help relieve some of the swelling to allow better urine flow.
It may help alleviate painful ejaculation
Fluid blockages in the reproductive system can cause pain during ejaculation. Prostate massage can sometimes help eliminate blockages.
It may help prevent or even treat prostatitis
Massage used to be the primary treatment for prostatitis, which is a painful inflammation of the prostate. Antibiotics have since taken its place, though some people may still use it to relieve symptoms.
It may help relieve benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) symptoms
BPH is an enlargement of the prostate that becomes more common with age. One 2009 review found that using a prostate massager relieved lower urinary tract symptoms of BPH.
How to milk a prostate with your hands
Most people are told a “come hither” motion is the best (or only) way to massage the prostate with their fingers, but it’s actually more nuanced than that. Think of it like giving a blow job. Sure, going up-and-down repeatedly will do the trick, but adding your hand, playing with the testicles, and even the perineum, will make it even better. So what are my steps for milking the prostate with your hands?
Step 1
Trim your fingernails (or have your partner trim theirs) and make sure there are no jagged edges. The last thing you want is a tear in your behind.
Step 2
Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand (no pun intended). I recommend choosing silicone lube because nothing beats the slickness or endurance. However, if you prefer water-based or a hybrid lube because neither of these stain fabric or because they’re easier to wash off afterwards, that’s perfectly fine.
Step 3
When you’re milking the prostate, the best way to do it, and to help alleviate the pressures from prostatitis, is by massaging starting at the outer edges and then inward on each lobe (left and right). This is because the prostate empties itself through its center, so by going from the outside, in on each side, you’ll be successfully moving the fluid into the middle of the gland, which will help release it when you climax. When you (or your partner).
Techniques to try
You’ll probably need to try a few different moves and experiment with speed and pressure to find what feels best.
Here are some techniques to try, whether you’re using fingers or toys.
With your fingers
- Come hither. Gently insert your lubed index finger into the anus and curl your finger upward in a “come hither” motion toward the belly button. Keep repeating the motion while gradually increasing your speed as the pleasure builds.
- Doorbell. Rest the pad of your finger against the outside of the prostate and gently press as you would to ring a doorbell. Mix it up by using different pressure or holding the press for shorter and longer intervals to find what works. You can use the doorbell technique when penetrating the anus, too.
- Circling. Use the pad of your finger and run it all around the prostate, circling your way around the entire perimeter of the gland. Change up the pressure and speed and continue with the combo that feels best, allowing the pleasure to build up.
- Simulated vibration. Any move that feels good can be sped up to the point of feeling like a vibrator. This can be a little hard on the wrist after a while, so it’s best to save this kind of speed for when orgasm is close.
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How to milk a prostate with other assistance (toys)
Step 1
Invest in a high quality prostate toy. There are plenty on the market that are designed to take the guesswork out of finding your prostate and provide direct stimulation. A good prostate massage will be lightweight, thin, and have both internal and external pressure points for maximum enjoyment. That way, it not only massages your prostate, but also your perineum. Double the stimulation, double the pleasure!
Step 2
As you would milk the prostate with your fingers, you’ll want to use an abundant amount of lube. Since you’re using a toy this time, please make sure you choose a lube that’s compatible with your toy. Most high quality toys are made of silicone, which means you won’t be able to use silicone lube. The safest bet will be a water-based lubricant or a hybrid or toy-safe lubricant, but check your toy’s packaging to make sure.
Step 3
Once you have your supplies and you’re ready to play, it’s important to start slow. Since toys are more rigid and less nimble than your fingers, you’ll have to adjust your body’s positioning in order to find the best insertion angle of the toy. As long as you insert your prostate massager correctly — in other words, making sure the curvature that’s meant to stimulate your prostate is facing the right direction — it’s nearly impossible not to hit your prostate.
Some toys are meant to be inserted and left in position, providing your prostate with a constant “nudge”, while others can be used like more traditional toys, where you can push them in and pull them out to simulate person-to-person play. Whichever type of prostate massage you choose is entirely up to you. My last tip — once you’ve come, this area of the body will be extremely sensitive so be sure to remove your toy slowly and carefully.
Techniques to try
If you’re playing with sex toys, you can really mix it up by playing with the different vibration settings, as well as pressure and depth.
- Pressure. Controlling pressure when using a toy is easier, especially when you’re playing solo. Try pressing the toy against the prostate using more or less pressure till you find your sweet spot.
- Depth. Depth is another area where toys win out since reaching can make it hard to go deep, if that’s what you crave. Try different sized anal toys or get a longer one that you can insert as deep as your bottom desires.
- Vibrations. You can buy prostate massagers that offer up multiple speed and pulse settings. Play with the different settings to find your preference. Up the vibes as you get closer to orgasm.
- Sensation. Some prostate massagers have an attached external stimulator to give your perineum some sweet lovin’ while the other end penetrates. Who doesn’t love a hard worker?
Positions to try
Different positions can make reaching and pleasuring the prostate easier. These positions work for external and internal prostate stimulation, alone and with a partner.
Face down
To do this by yourself:
- Lie face down.
- Reach your arm behind you and rest it on your back.
- Reach your perineum or anus with your finger.
To do this with a partner:
- Lie face down with your arms at your sides and legs slightly apart.
- Have them sit next to you on the side most comfortable for them.
- Have them gently massage your prostate.
Legs up
To do this by yourself:
- Lie on your back.
- Pull your knees up towards your chest as close as you can comfortably.
- Use one arm to hold your legs in place.
- Use your other hand to reach your anus.
To do this with a partner:
- Lie on your back.
- Pull your knees up towards your chest, holding them in place with both hands.
- Have them kneel in front of you and massage your prostate internally, externally, or both simultaneously.
On your side, one leg to chest
- Lie on your side.
- Bring your outer leg up towards your chest.
- Reach your hand around to your anus.
To do this with a partner:
- Lie on your side.
- Bring your outer leg towards your chest.
- Have them sit behind you to reach your anus.
Doggy
To do this by yourself:
- Get down on all fours.
- Reach your arm between your legs or around your back to reach your anus.
To do this with a partner:
- Get down on all fours.
- Have them kneel behind you to reach your anus.
Prostate milking vs. male orgasm
Many people experience an orgasm from prostate milking, especially if they masturbate during it.
A person may not be able to distinguish between prostate fluid and ejaculated semen. Prostate fluid is one component of semen. When a male has an orgasm and ejaculates, sperm, prostate fluid, and other fluids present in the ejaculate.
Not all men ejaculate or have an orgasm during prostate milking. Masturbation and other forms of sexual contact make an ejaculation during the massage more likely.
Summary
Prostate milking can be pleasurable. Some people perform it on themselves, and others seek the help of a partner.
Anal play may not be everyone’s bag, but if you’re willing to give it a try, an intense full-body orgasm may be the payoff.
Consent and safety are key, so once you’ve got that settled you can get down to the fun part — experimenting with fingers, toys, and anything else that tickles your fancy.
Some preliminary research suggests that prostate milking may improve symptoms associated with prostate enlargement. However, confirming this will require further research.
Anyone who is concerned about their sexual health or prostate health should consult a doctor.
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